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Ohio State offensive lineman Harry Miller announced he was retiring from the sport Thursday and revealed struggled with his mental health and attempted suicide.
Miller played four seasons on the Buckeyes’ offensive line. He said in a statement he told Ohio State coach Ryan Day of his intention to commit suicide and Day put him in touch with some mental health professionals and continued his collegiate career during the 2021 season.
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Ohio State Buckeyes offensive lineman Harry Miller (76) warms up prior to the college football game between the Ohio State Buckeyes and Rutgers Scarlet Knights on Oct. 2, 2021, at SHI Stadium in Piscataway, New Jersey. (Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
“After a few weeks, I tried my luck at football once again, with scars on my wrists and throat. Maybe the scars were hard to see with my wrists taped up,” Miller’s statement read. “Maybe it was hard to see the scars through the bright colors of the television. Maybe the scars were hard to hear through all the talk shows and interviews. They are hard to see, and they are easy to hide, but they sure do hurt. There was a dead man on the television set, but nobody knew it.
“At the time, I would rather be dead than a coward. I’d rather be nothing at all, than have to explain everything that was wrong. I was planning on being reduced to my initials on a back of a helmet. I had seen people seek help before. I had seen the age-old adage of how our generation was softening by the second, but I can tell you my skin was tough. It had to be.. But it was not tougher than the sharp metal of my box cutter. And I saw how easy it was for people to dismiss others by talking about how they were just a dumb, college kid who didn’t know anything.”
Ohio State Buckeyes offensive lineman Harry Miller (76) walks to the sidelines during the Big 10 Championship game between the Northwestern Wildcats and Ohio State Buckeyes on December 19, 2020, at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Zach Bolinger/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
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Miller said he will continue his studies in the college of engineering. He has a 4.0 GPA.
He said he was “grateful” for the programs Day put in place.
Ohio State Buckeyes offensive lineman Harry Miller (76) in action during the Big Ten Championship game between the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Northwestern Wildcats on December 19, 2020 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
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“… And I am grateful that he is letting me find a new way to help others in the program. I hope athletic departments around the country do the same,” Miller’s statement read. “If not for him and the staff, my words would not be a reflection. They would be evidence in a post-mortem.”
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).