There are several reasons why you might be creating the same struggles and same negative patterns in your life again and again.
5 min read
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
“Are you saying I manifested my illness? I would never do that in a million years!” exclaimed Tanya. “Yes, my dear. You create everything that is present in your life whether you like it or not,” I claimed.
Tanya came for coaching because she started to have social anxiety to the point where she did not even want to see her friends. However, she has been suffering from frequent headaches, year-round allergies, and vertigo for some time. She had exhausted all of the medical exams and treatments before coming for coaching. At the time she came for help, she knew that this is her last resort because nothing was transpiring in her neurology reports that was the cause of her illnesses. After working together, she realized how she was constantly put down and put second to her brother as a child, and how that made her feel abandoned and unloved.
Related: Are Antibiotics Causing Anxiety, Depression and Poor Gut Health?
There are several reasons why you might be creating the same struggles and same patterns in your life again and again. Before we start discussing them in more detail, I would like to emphasize that whatever is present in your reality is because you or your unconscious mind created it. I know it feels very counterintuitive in the world that is so much focused on being a victim. I feel we suffer ten folds because we feel powerless. Depression is feeling powerless. Anxiety is feeling out of control. You can trace any mental or emotional disorder to its origin, you will find low self-esteem to be at the core of it. When asked what I do, as a mental health counselor, I jokingly say that “I show and teach people how to love themselves.” And it is so true. Only if we loved ourselves enough, we would be in a much healthier world. Here are some of the reasons why you might be creating the wrong things in your life again and again:
Giving up the power of co-creation
The manifestations that are undesirable are hard to cope with. We like to take pride in what we intentionally create. However, on the other hand, we give up our power to co-create our future when an undesirable outcome is manifested. Why? Because we find comfort in blaming the things gone wrong to something external to us. This is the trap that keeps us in the victimhood mindset. As soon as we blame something outside of ourselves, we align our beliefs with being a victim who is not in control of his or her destiny. The first thing I would suggest you to do if you want to effortlessly co-create with the universe, please understand the blame game. Blaming takes away your magical power to manifest your desires.
Suppressed emotions and negative thought patterns
“But why would I then create the things I don’t want?” you might ask. Well, I am glad you asked. The reason you manifest undesirable outcomes is due to your suppressed emotions, traumas, negative thinking patterns, and limiting beliefs. Each event in your life is there for a reason and as a lesson. I claim that each undesirable outcome in your life is helping you become your pure true Self and helping you realize your holiness only if you are aware enough to recognize it, face the fear driving it, and change the pattern. If you don’t like what is present in your life, please pay attention to any repressed emotions or negative thought patterns that might be unconsciously creating undesirable outcomes.
Which part of you is really creating?
Another way to find out why you created what you didn’t want is to pay attention to the intentions behind your desires. There are multiple creators within you: the ego, the subconscious mind, and the spirit. Sometimes the desires created by the ego require a lot of effort and can even be frustrating in the process. The subconscious mind just creates whatever you feed into it: thoughts, fears, beliefs, emotions, etc. However, the desires coming from your spirit feel effortless. The ones we call miracle or pure luck or being at the right place at the right time, type of deal, are all the creations of the spirit. We create at all levels but what gets manifested and how much impact that manifested desire has on your life depends on the level at which it was created.
Feeling not loved enough
The gap between the ego and the spirit widens when self-love is missing. I have closely realized that the undesirable outcomes are created from the ego and the part that doesn’t feel loved enough. Lack of self-love can literally hurt your overall self-worth. All of the things you feel you don’t like in your life are because you don’t feel loved enough. If you are able to trace back the origins of any fear or worry when you dig deep enough, you will find that it started somewhere along the way you feeling not loved enough or rejected or abandoned.
Related: Can Food Sensitivity Trigger Depression and Anxiety?
And feeling abandoned actually has humanistic-existential origins in addition to the conditioning origins. If you allow me to make a left turn towards spirituality here, I say that we all (as the human race) struggle with this feeling of not loved enough or feeling inadequate or abandoned. This actually comes from feeling separated from the true essence within us or losing track of our holiness, which is what I help my clients realize to be really truly manifest. We will delve into this notion more deeply in the next article.
Again, self-love and self-care are a must to effortlessly co-create with the Universe.