donald-trump:-my-friends-will-not-be-going-to-prison!-pardons-for-everybody!

Well, it’s taken us a long period of time to get here but think it or not, we’re in the final 48 hours of Donald Trump’s presidency.

While we make certain the subject is taboo in the Oval Workplace, Joe Biden will be sworn into the greatest office in the land at noon on Wednesday.

Old Donnie might have to hang around D.C. for his second impeachment trial, however after much kicking and yelling, he’ll no longer be a resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Opportunity.

Donald Trump Incites Violence

Obviously, before he leaves, he has some incomplete service to take care of.

You see, in spite of being a completely repugnant human, the president still has several pals.

And due to the fact that he’s such a greasy overload beast, his closest associates nowadays are mainly opportunistic grifters and burglars who didn’t realize the time to cut ties with Trump was a number of weeks earlier, before he really lost his mind.

Donald Trump Impeachment Response

Many of these fellow slimeballs are in trouble with the law, and it seems the president is preparing to use last 2 days in office to ensure that none of them suffer any sort of repercussions for their criminal activities.

According to a brand-new report from CNN, Trump is preparing to issue 100 pardons this week.

The receivers of this last act of clemency are described by the news outlet as “clerical criminals [and] prominent rap artists.”

Donald Trump Interview Pic

So we think Lil Wayne wasn’t the only hip hop artist to betray his fan base by hopping abourd the Trump Train!

Anyhow, Trump was pardoning his pals like a mad male in the weeks leading up to the holidays.

He took a pause, however, when a bunch of his advocates stormed the Capitol with the goal of either assassinating or terrifying members of Congress.

Donald Trump as a Loser

Even the Donald knows it’s not an excellent look to have one branch of your criminal activity household devoting acts of terrorism in your name while you spring a various branch from prison.

And now, the clock is ticking, and Trump is all set to weaken the core concepts of this nation’s justice system one last time.

So in addition to the question of will there be another round of violence from domestic terrorists on Inauguration Day, we’re also entrusted to the secret of who will receive Trump’s last “get out of prison” totally free cards.

Donald Trump in Milwaukee

Will the president pardon Joe Exotic, as he once teased in a campaign speech?

Our guess would be no, however only due to the fact that Trump most likely has a bias versus people named Joe nowadays.

Will Trump pardon himself and his children?

Well, that’s a far more complicated concern.

Donald Trump as POTUS

Technically, there’s no guideline to prevent him from doing so– it would be an extremely irregular relocation, but everything about Trump’s administration has actually been extremely irregular.

Typically, it’s the sort of thing he would embrace, if only since it would consitute one final middle finger to the Democrats and the political mainstream.

However it seems that in the wake of the Capitol riots and his 2nd impeachment, advisors have warned Trump against self-pardoning, as it might make the president “look guilty.”

Donald Trump is Sad

Presumably, this was said with a straight face, as though Trump hasn’t spent the previous four years making himself look guilty.

Even diehard boot-lickers like Lindsey Graham concur that it would look actually, truly bad if the president were to let himself off the hook at this moment.

” There are a lot of individuals prompting the President to pardon the folks,” Graham stated Sunday on Fox News.

President Donald Trump in Texas

” To look for a pardon of these individuals would be incorrect.”

Besides, Trump has the future of his family to think of.

Sure, he might quickly be barred from ever seeking elected office once again, however he may deny the world the sh-tshow of an Ivanka presidency.

And like Pinky and the Brain before him, Donald John Trump is nothing without his dubious, ill-conceived strategies to take control of the world.

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